In this week’s Workplace Wellness we explore ways working parents can take care of their well-being during the back-to-school season.
It’s been a rough year and a half for working parents. Between school closures, child care inconsistencies, a public health crisis for which protocols are changed regularly, and the fact that children under 12 remain unvaccinated – it has been a time of extreme stress and anxiety.
A recent New York Times article, America’s Mothers are in Crisis, outlined just how draining this period has been. One mom explains, “With everything going on, I just don’t have time to take care of my mental health right now. I have to keep it together for everyone else. I feel like a ticking time bomb that is constantly being pushed to the breaking point, but then I am able to defuse myself. Goodness, this is taxing.”
So, it’s not surprising to find that parents may be facing their own version of “Back-to-School” stress this August. The lack of consistency and ability to plan has been one of the most mentally stressful aspects of parenting during Covid-19. You might have been enjoying the relative peace and calm that comes with summer – but watching the calendar march toward a school year that will be anything but calm and consistent may be sparking a new round of stress and anxiety.
While there is no “one way” to get through this time – hopefully some of the following tips can support your workplace well-being and keep you grounded during this time of upheaval.
Put on your own oxygen.
Just like the safety directions on a flight – don’t try to put on someone else’s oxygen mask until you’ve put on your own. Or, supporting your child’s mental health will be that much better once you have supported your own. It can feel overwhelming to even find the time to support your well-being, but a stressed out mom or dad can have long-term negative effects on kids. As a Healthy Minds @Work participant recently told us, “We all could benefit from a daily meditation habit during the global pandemic but what got in my way was just that – the global pandemic! As a mom and full-time employee, I am being pulled in a million directions every day – remote learning being the most significant current issue – and some days I just didn’t have the time/energy to practice meditation. However, I feel strongly that I need to start taking the time to do so every morning.”
Finding that time for your own self-care whether it be a walk, a moment to meditate or exercise has the added benefit of both reducing your stress (thus avoiding a toxic home environment)and modeling healthy well-being behaviors for your kids. Kids are also experiencing many emotions related to returning to school – and you can be an example of how to have a healthy relationship with difficult emotions.
Give yourself a helping hand by adding self-care to your calendar – booking a meeting for yourself during the day for those walks, meditations, or just to breathe.
Get comfortable with change.
The fact is – we are living and working in a time without consistency. Kids may go back to school and then suddenly be pulled out again with a “Covid-19 exposure,” forcing you to once again scramble, move meetings, and find childcare – maybe even relying on screen time to keep them busy.
Our recent Workplace Wednesday blog post, Coping without Control, highlights a few ways to get comfortable with this permanent impermanence, including insight meditations to get comfortable with change and approaching challenging situations as opportunities to learn.
But being open with your child and your workplace that some things will be out of your control can also create more of a feeling of stability. However you can create structure in an unstructured period in time will help both you, your workplace, and your child.
Plan something fun
It’s always good to have something to look forward to. If you’re approaching back-to-school with trepidation, can you plan something as a reward for mid-fall, Thanksgiving, or winter break? Maybe a stress-reducing vacation, an exciting day trip, or even a special meal. What thing can you plan that will give everyone something to keep looking forward to during those first few challenging weeks?
In the midst of a highly stressful time, research shows that having something to look forward to (no matter how small) can be a benefit. Living in the moment and being able to adapt to change are helpful skills – but you can give yourself a nice break by having a positive treat at the end of the difficulty.
Hopefully, these tips can give you some support as the first day of school looms. We may not be able to control our external circumstances, but by training these skills in well-being, we can be in charge of our internal responses. Good luck.
Learn more about how the Healthy Minds Framework can support your workplace well-being with Healthy Minds @Work or by downloading our free Healthy Minds Program app. Dive deeper into the scientific framework for well-being by registering for our Healthy Minds Masterclass: Founders Edition.